Updated: Mar 29
As much as most partners love chocolates and flowers we’re offering tips that go beyond valentines day or peacemaker offerings. This list of genuine, kind and loving acts will not only improve your relationship with your significant other but probably boost your sex life too!
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Spend an Hour Listening, actually Listening!
When last did you actually listen to your partner? We hear our loved ones all day long but when they’ve got something to say that takes longer than a minute we tend to fade out. As men we struggle with this. We like to hear the key points nicely summarised and thats all, no more, no less. But our lovely partners often want to talk things out and describe every last detail until we feel like we’re having an outta body experience. Well tip #1 is embrace the experience and truly listen. Respond and engage in the conversation. Try to be as interested as you can and eventually you may just become truly interested.
Do Something your Partner has been Putting off
We all have chores and projects we’ve been putting off for months. Maybe its cleaning out the attic or getting the vegetable garden weeded. No matter how big or small try to take the load off your partner by quietly completing the task for them. Imagine their delight when the thing they’ve been dreading for so long is taken off their plate.
Send your Partner Image Quotes during the Day
You’ve seen them on Google images. The quotes you send people for birthdays or anniversaries. There are dozens of really cool apps on your mobile that will help you create these image quotes or posters in a matter of minutes. Find a cool image of your partner or the two of you and think of something romantic or even sexy to quote on the image. Send it off and wait for the reply. A great way to remind your partner that you’re thinking of them.
Make a 3 Course Dinner to Show you Care
Anyone can pick-up a quick dinner on the way home from work. But actually preparing a dinner and one that includes a starter, main course and desert shows true skill, love and care. Find 1000’s of recipes online or watch a YouTube tutorial and prepare something special. Make sure to set the scene with a nice invite, romantic music and even some flowers for the table and you’ve got yourself a night to remember.
Spend a Day Doing what your Partner wants
Weekend comes around and you’ve got it all planned out. Very often our partners are forced to go along with our plans. Not today. Today you announce that she or he will be managing the day's activities and that you are free to go along with whatever they wish to do. Don’t settle when they respond with “Oh I don’t know, lets just do what you want to do”.
Bring your Partner Breakfast in Bed
There’s nothing better than waking up to a delicious breakfast. It's a great way to start the day on a high. Make you partner's day and spoil them with their favourite breakfast treats in bed. Do a full job by not leaving a huge mess in the kitchen and clean up so they don’t have to worry about that later.
Ask your Partner to Teach you something
There is a certain satisfaction in teaching someone something and knowing you’ve made their day a little more interesting. A sense of fulfilment, a sense of purpose. Give that to your partner by asking them to teach you something that they know and you simply don’t. It can be anything from how to make a cake, knit a sweater, scrapbooking or how to use an app to more complex skills. If the experiment is a success and your partner feels open to it you may also want to return the favor and share some skills.
Show your Partner your Emotional, more Sensitive side
Men are often disconnected from their sensitive, emotional and vulnerable sides. Something to do with the fear of not being in control or not being manly enough. Show your partner that you’re in touch with your sensitive side by opening up about something emotional you’ve probably tried to avoid. This can be in the form of a conversation, visiting a graveyard of a lost loved one, going for counselling, looking through an old childhood family photo album and talking about it. Whatever it is - connect with your partner by sharing your vulnerabilities and opening your heart to let them in.
Ask your Partner to Reveal 10 things they Haven't Told you
This can get real interesting. Some things you're gonna want to hear but there may be a few things you didn't plan on hearing or may have suspected but didn't want to discuss. The idea behind this is getting to know your partner more fully instead of missing them day in and day out. What makes them tick? What’s on their mind? What are they worried about. What turns them on? Always show your partner acceptance and understanding with whatever they reveal or you could risk them clamping up for good.
Take up a Healthy Challenge with your Partner
We spend hours on YouTube or television watching challenges but never attempt any of our own. Challenges bring a sense of purpose and accomplishment and encourage bonding and teamwork like nothing else. So think about joining a boot camp, obstacle course challenge, mini marathon, weight loss challenge or any active challenge thats going to expand your boundaries as a couple.
Book Dinner for your Partner and her/his Friends
Many partners often feel that their husbands are annoyed and intimidated or even jealous of their partner's friendships. Show your loved one that that isn't you and make a reservation and foot the bill for your partner and best friends somewhere special. Show your partner that you support her or his friendships and understand the importance of nurturing those relationships. You can arrange it with the friends secretly to make it a surprise of let your partner in on the idea to make sure they keep a certain date open.
Start Kissing Again
We all loved doing it when we were dating and probably did it quite a lot. But as the years went on after marriage you kissed less and less. Bring back the fire and start kissing your partner more often. It may feel a little uncomfortable at first and you may get a funny reaction the first few times but like all things in marriage - if you keep at it and work hard you’ll both get back on the horse and it will become part of your relationship once more.
Compliment your Partner at least Once a Day
My partner has taught me this throughout our marriage and I’ve seen the powerful effects of it even in strangers. She would make a definite effort when meeting someone to pay them a compliment on something she observed about them. She is well liked because of it. I’ve even seen Government officials roll out the red carpet for her because of this wonderful personality trait. Try this with your partner. It may feel a little unnatural and forced at first but do it anyway. Soon you’ll be picking up things that you probably always knew but just thought to yourself instead of voicing out aloud. This will boost confidence in your partner and make her or him feel loved and appreciated.
Arrange at least 1 Date Night a Month
Date nights are super important for married couples. Especially couples with kids. That time alone to break away from the kids, television, chores, routine or work and get dressed up a bit and go somewhere with a different scenery is so valuable in nurturing a relationship. You can talk about anything you want but try avoid talking about major problems or that will just bring you both down. The date is meant to be an escape for you both so keep it like that.
Try take a Romantic Weekend Away at least once every 6 months
Sure it takes some planning with kids and work schedules but if you can make it happen it can be really magical and super good for your marriage. It doesn't have to be more than 2 nights and you don’t have to go anywhere too far or exotic. We love wine tasting and trying new wines so my wife and I will go every few months for a weekend to the wine district where we’ll stay in a nice hotel or Air BnB and spend our days wine tasting and trying new restaurants. Thats our vibe and we love it. You and your partner may be into something else like a Spa weekend or a hiking & camping weekend or perhaps a weekend at the beach or in the mountains. Whatever it is make the time and take the time to enjoy each other away from life’s distractions.
Praise your Partner in Public
Complimenting your partner and highlighting their strong points in public and in the company of friends and family is extremely reassuring to your partner. It also shows strength in your marriage bond. Be genuine about it and drop it in conversation. I like to sometimes surprise my partner and any unlucky listener by complimenting my wife on her awesome body. I love watching her squirm and revel in those lightly embarrassing looks she makes. But instead of her being angry or annoyed she always remembers these comments and usually mentions them later in admiration.
Don’t Overlook the Small Chores
Nothing is a turn off like chores. Women and nearly all men hate it. Some people struggle to disconnect and get into the moment with their partners when there is a load of chores to get done. Take away this stress and lighten the load. Start to pick up after yourself, clean up after yourself and not only that - start to do that for a few others in the family too, like your kids. With less chores on your partners schedule they’ll have more time to spend with you doing other things...!
Read a Book Together
My wife and I did this when we were in College and I’ve never forgotten it. We would buy a book together, something we both thought would be interesting and we’d take turns reading it our aloud to each other. We would read in the park, on the sofa in the bath. It was like going on an adventure with each other. What made it fun was being able to discuss the plot together without having to worry about giving away the ending.
Have a Picnic in the Bath
Ok this may sound weird but its a whole lot more fun than you think. It involves wine or your favourite beverage. A few light snacks that won’t get spoiled in a steamy room like fruit (grapes are great) set on a side table next to the bath. We’ve even put a laptop in the room (be careful with the electrics) and watched a movie. All while soaking in a nice hot bath. Ok maybe this idea is a little weird now that I'm typing it out - but try it, its been a hit in our marriage.
Lose the Phone when its Family Time
Mobile phones have interrupted our privacy stealing every moment of every day. We are now reachable by everyone all the time. Few of us have the will power to slide that off button yet we complain when we’re interrupted. Show your partner & family how valuable they are by taking your cell phone out of the equation. Turn off or simply leave on silent in another room.
Get Outdoors Together
Embracing the outdoors has been proven to lift spirits and freshen the mind. Doing this as a couple will also energise your marriage. There’s something about being in the great outdoors thats almost instinctual for many of us. You don’t need to plan a hike or camping expedition to enjoy nature but you do need to find it and get into it and relax. A simple walk on the beach or your closest county park on a regular basis will give you quality time together and the fresh air and change of scenery will do you both a world of good.
Start Holding Hands Again
Just like kissing this is something we all used to do but for some reason forgot about as time went on. It seems like the fundamental physical action of holding hands shared by all couples gradually evaporates during marriage. Make the first move and start holding hands next time you’re out or even sitting on the sofa together. Its good to maintain these physical connections or else we miss each other in our own spaces travelling through life.
Leave Love Letters where they’ll Find it
This is so cute. It shows your partner you took the time to get the note done and plan where you were going to put it. Moreover it shows your partner that you spend time thinking about them. As busy as they may get in the day this will certainly give them joy. If your partner isn't on a diet consider adding a little chocolate to the note. That certainly goes down well with my wife!
Take on a Chore they Hate Doing
Instead of a once off act of kindness actually take on a daily or weekly chore your partner hates doing and then you take it on from now on. Tell them, its yours - you own it and they don’t need to worry about it anymore.
Take a YouTube Massage Lesson and get those Fingers Working
You can learn how to do pretty much anything on YouTube and many of these cool new skills are super helpful and fun to try out on your guinea pig partner. One that works super well is massage. If you’ve been lucky enough to go for a massage you’ll hopefully have picked up on a few tips. But trust me theres more to it than you think. Watch a few videos on the topic and impress your partner with your massage abilities. Don't forget the lotion, soft music and remember to dim the lights.
Do you have any other Best Husband Hacks? Let us know in the comments down below.